So, we are in the room with the recently posthumous king. King Strangulatus Atomus. He seemed to have died while taking his medicine. Behind closed doors. Without his clothes.
For reasons of artistic licence, Terribelus, Veracity and the two newly wedded and queened Eenie and Meenie are there too, along with quite a few extras…. one of them is the favourite nurse of King Strange, Ms. Teenie, who by the way looks quite emotionally distraught. She’s “not that shabby” to look at, so we look at her kohl-rimmed eyes as they well up with tears. And her dress may be, how to put it delicately, neither as neutral nor as non-mussed-up as expected. Confused, and a little guilty for this pause, we pan away from her, and onto Queen Mother Veracity, who by the way has aged quite well, and sorta is quite a good person to… umm… watch. There seems to be a pattern to these pauses it seems.
We reassert our “professionalism” and zoom on her face. That’s when we realize that being unaffected and highly-gifted members of audience, we can also read her thought, though in a different colored font and with horrendous spelling and punctuation.
Veracity: waah… my son ded! nooooooo… i so sad… but hey i still kween mudder…. wait…. but Terry is reejent… and he can get ne-buddy to be a pupet king… and dere no one in my line… as my son dyed before getting to know his kweens better… and make baybees. why dat teenie nurse cry so? so what can I do… wait…. there is rule …. where is rule book… ummm … here… now how to read…. damm… i forget to bring my speck… mr speck who reeds for me… okay… let me ask Terry to reed… he is so holier-than-thou that I can bank on him to kick himselfs in his …. umm… private parts again Terribellus, my son, could you please read this particular clause in the Great Rule Book for The Ruling Class of Elephantiston.
Terribelus: The temerity of this upstart female… Your wish is my command, mother. … Section on Authority, Subsection Kingship, Sub-subsection Posthumous Primogeniture… As always I am extremely intelligent and well versed with the classics… As per the decree of the holiest of the holy rule book of King Manchester City, when a king dies without any issue from his loins … what ….. and he has no siblings from the same set of parents …. whaatt…. it is the duty of his half-brother / half-brothers (strike whatever inapplicable) to provide the required issue with the queen / queens (strike whatever inapplicable) … whaaaatttt
Very: So, dear son, as you can see, as the King, your half-brother, is now deceased without progeny, or hopes for one, it is now your duty to provide the necessary inputs… for the continuation of the royal line.
Terry: I see.
Teenie: Umm.., Queen Mother, Sir Regent, what if the King had some unfinished ..
Very: Not now, Nurse. We don’t need to know about Strangy’s dosage patterns.
Teenie: No Queen Mother, I meant what if… there was someone…
Very: Yes, precisely Nurse Teenie, there is someone. Our Regent Terribelus. He cannot himself be a king, as he is bound by oath, but he is a half-brother of the King. Posthumous King.
Terry: Yes, I had almost forgotten. You are right. As always. Mother.
Very: So, what is your plan?
Terry: Wait, … perchance this stratagem may work… mother… I have also swore celibacy, so I can’t, as you so delicately put, provide the necessary inputs.
V: ummm… you swore to my father, so I as his daughter can set you free.
T: You can?
V: Yes.
T: OK. Kindly do the honours, then.
V: OK. Being the daughter of Chief Whuzyurda Dee, I Queen Veracity (nee Miss Bootifulbo Dee) hereby release…. wait… why are you smiling so much Terribellus?
T: Because, the vows were taken together, so as soon as you release from the second I automatically get released from the first… and i become…. KKKINGGGGGG…
V: NOOO, but why can’t I release you only half…
T: No, I believe that’s not an option.
V: Dammm… ok… lemme think…. i need a haff-brudder of poor Strangy boy…. wait…. ha ha ha… Terribellus… don’t worry, you can remain under your oath. There is another half-brother of Strangulatus.
T: Where? Don’t tell me my dearly departed Father didn’t tell me about another son of his.
V: No, not his. Someone else’s. He is my son with another man. Don’t make that face young queens. He was a holy man. So is my other son. A holy man. And my noble son had told me before he left me …
“In time of need of any kind,
To call me thither don’t you mind
Willingly shall I come in sooth
Unless occupied by the Forbidden Fruit.
I mayn’t be pretty as you ohh mother,
But shall be of use to a posthumous brother.”
REPEAT/FLASHBACK FROM UGLIE 02: The One With The Thrice-Named Queen
My son, Uglie, your mother needs you in a time of need.
— POOOF —
Lot of smoke…. and when the smoke clears Islandus Uglie appears. He is as ugly now, as earlier. More so. And he is grinning from ear-to-ear. As unknown to most (but not us) he had always been here. Waiting for the opportunity. He could have been truly prescient. Or maybe King Pac‘s, Crown Prince 2Pac‘s and King Strangulatus‘s deaths may not have been at all natural or accidental.
Islandus Uglie: Worry not, mother dearest. I am here.
Veracity: Son…. ugghhh… you are as beautiful as I last saw you.
IU: Thank you. I hydrate and I recently started working-out. Will tell you later, but tell me mother, why you called me?
V: Son, as you can see, your half-brother King Strangulatus is dead. And as per rules, only way to continue the royal line of Elephantiston, you need to… you know… ummm…. fill in for your deceased brother, for a night… I mean two nights…. wait a minute… what if there is some problem…. as many nights it takes.
IU: okay… where to? And who is first… and why is that good looking nurse puking. Someone give her something sour to eat.
—- lights dim —-
Random Mythoscopy 