Left Right 01: It’s a Mad World!

In 18th Century France, a line was drawn (or not!) when discussions and debates were held freely while seated (or not!) before a moderator. People who were ideologically adjacent ensured that their seats were adjacent as well; it being difficult to speak freely (or at all!) when people sitting next to you disagreed and jeered at you. By an accident the liberals, who were in fact quite non-liberal when it came to the possibility of a monarchy, sat to the left, and the conservatives sat to the right. Some individuals tried to move around the hall, but soon had to adhere to the accepted lines to think by and sit across, as the need to belong, overpowered the need to be balanced. When instead of individuals, sides were addressed, and ridiculed as: the Left Wing Radicals and the Right Wing Reactionaries, the terms stuck! Assuming that whatever the French do is fashionable, soon the rest of the world started using the terms.

Winston Churchill didn’t actually say this, but the oft quoted quote “If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart, and if you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain”, does have a sprinkling of truth, the boundary-years may have shifted oh-so-slightly though! A more apt understanding (as per me… but I am normally wrong) is when you are younger, you “believe” in freedom – for those not with power (i.e. you) to have a say and not be “left” behind; and when you grow older, you “realise” that those in power (i.e. you, again) are more often than not “right” hence should be obeyed heeded to more.

The continuum of far-left, center-left, center-right, and far-right has gone through multiple iterations, with sometimes the same person and at least once a political party (cough… Democrats… cough) moving across the continuum.

There was a time when “liberal” meant “one who espouses freedom”, someone “broad-minded”, “generous” even! Similarly, there was an era that a “conservative” was who held on “traditional” views, and then someone who interestingly believed in “free markets”. Mostly the conservatives were those with power in their hands, and wanted it firmly there (to ensure that the situation did not deteriorate), and liberals were those who were ok with change, as well as those who hankered for change (so it could be better). Now, every few days we can hear newer inventive terms like fiberals, liberandu, fukths, and what not. Between erstwhile and current (soon to be erstwhile) friends, nonetheless!

My extremely garbled brain came up with a few hypotheses around these facts/ situations, the first one of which I like to call “the Batman-Joker Situation”. I am still processing the same, so in case what comes hereafter feels semi-digested, please bear with me.

Let’s create a pseudo-universe, totally different from ours. Therein a small group of people decide for the whole city, called… um … Mahtog City. They are elected, with each being titularly the representative of X number of people, let’s call them a “constituency”. Earlier the prospective representatives appealed to each person in the constituency, and won (or lost) based on personal ideology, charm and good-looks. This took a lot of effort.

There arose amongst them a few who had appeal and following beyond their own constituency. Let’s say there were two: Bruce and Arthur. Bruce came from a rich, aristocratic background and given his “innate” wisdom and “hard-earned” skills (he had the best teachers, you see) was appreciated by a certain type of people. Arthur on the other hand came from a working-class background, and given his rakish charm, easy humour (tutored in the school of hard-knocks), and ability to apply his “crazy ideas”, was followed by a certain group of individuals.

So prospective representatives in different constituencies, openly identified with either Bruce or Arthur. And, needless to say, if the first competitor said he was Bruce’s man, then his opponent claimed to be Arthur’s buddy. So, other than a few who stood and won on their own standing on issues and personal charm, the final group of representatives were either Bruce’s Wise-men (Bruce W’s) or Arthur’s Funny-men (Arthur F’s). Now not necessarily all of Bruce W’s were rich and serious, nor all of Arthur F’s were poor and funny. But they became more so (“serious” and “funny”), to be part of their respective teams.

They chose a semi-circular hall to meet and decide, with Bruce and Arthur sitting at the front, slightly apart but not that far. And the W’s and F’s sitting behind them, nearer to their leaders friends. Those who had friends, and/or fellows with similar tastes in the other camp, tried to sit closer to the others, so when you saw from the middle, they seemed to be sitting between Arthur and Bruce (yet behind them). They were the moderates. There were a few who had stronger opinions than their friends. A few W’s felt that the criminals should be rounded up, chased in shiny costly vehicles, beaten up, and strung up by their heels upside down. Like bats! They were the “bat crazy” one’s. They sat as far to to right side as possible. Similarly, a few F’s felt that rich men should be tickled, till they agreed to all demands of the workers, and if required hit on the heads by rubber mallets. As a joke! They were the “joke crazy” one’s. They, in turn, sat as far to the left as possible.

Now, Arthur and Bruce were worried by the Batmen and the Jokers, but what they were more worried of, were the moderates. Why? As the moderates sometimes said and believed stuff which was too close to the other camp’s stance. Like a Mr. Todd (a W risen up from the streets himself), who felt “too” strongly, that sometimes you needed to go a little crazy, if it helps. And then there was Ms. Kyle, titularly an F, who felt a few issues needed the infusion of a steady stream of wealth (and could not understand the burning up of mountains of money). So Bruce didn’t campaign for Mr. Todd, and a Mr. Drake took his seat. Similarly Arthur didn’t help out Ms. Kyle, and she lost her precarious perch (she landed on her feet, like a cat… but that’s another story). Now Mr. T and Ms. K had an option to join the opposite camp, and to ensure that they didn’t lose their seats again, they became more extreme. In fact Mr. Todd became more of a Joker than Arthur.

So, as time went on the middle got thinner (lesser moderates won lesser seats) and the tails became fatter (more members who espoused more extreme stances gained seats). It became more important to be a not-Batman and a not-Joker, rather than speaking out for other issues that affected Mahtog City (M-City).

Not technological progress, but the glorious past. The Batmen became darker.

Not freedom of expression, but louder and more colourful escapades. The Jokers became crazier.

Till they fought not for the City they loved, but over their control over it. Most considered the fight with their opponents more important than the fight against the ills plaguing their city.

Their ideological stances became more and more extreme till they were no more Bruce W’s and Arthur F’s; but just the Batmen and the Jokers.

In fact, Bruce once reminisced, over a shot of bourbon, that he always had wanted to find better ways of wealth redistribution, and would have done that years ago, if and only if Arthur’s Free-riders didn’t ask for it so loudly. He could not be seen as bending to the tactics of Jokers, could he? Also the Mr. Drake’s would have pushed him out of leadership on the first sign of weakness.

In another totally unrelated instance, Arthur over many a bottles of cheap beer (he could afford better, but he had an image to live up to) had remarked that he would have made his plans more… planned: clear and time-bound rather than sudden and chaotic. And he didn’t do so as that would have made Bruce’s Wise-Asses to smirk on his capitulation. In addition, Mr. Todd would have openly denounced him and taken up the leadership mantle of Jokers, citing this as his selling out to the “boovzwaah” ways (he knew the spelling, but it would be difficult to own up to classical education).

So the spectre of the unfair ways of a Batman moved Arthur towards the Hard Left. And the fear of the chaotic antics of a Joker made Bruce turn Hard Right. While what was “left” of their Mahtog City didn’t have anything go “right” for it now, while one side sang odes on the Glorious Past while the other tried to drown the sound out while they shouted slogans on the Bright Future!

TL;DR: Partisanship makes fighting against your internal-opponents more important that fighting alongside your companions-with-differing-opinions against the more important problems/issues. The Batman made the Joker. The Joker gave birth to the Batman.